Monday, August 29, 2011


If you missed the VMAs : 
Lady Gaga dressed in drag and told us how creative and weird she is - as if we couldn't tell already. Girl, if you have to dress up as someone else to tell us how great you are -  something is wrong - very wrong. I knew ahead of time that Brian May was going to be playing with her, but he was SO gray, I almost thought he was Jimmy Page there for a minute.
Adele sang "Someone Like You." Seemed a bit nervous and "a bit pitchy" on the low notes, but it kind of fit in with the whole "pain" aspect of the song, so maybe it was intentional? Being hung up one thing or one person is painful. Been there, done that. Anyway, I'll take Adele over Lady Gaga in drag any day of the week. Hope that song choice was your decision, Adele. If not - you need a new manager. I'm guessing your record company wanted to push "Someone Like You."  Have to say, I am bummed you didn't do "Rollin' In the Deep" which was nominated for the VMA -  a selfish desire on my part, because I need a little help pushing that memory of The Voice cattle call out of my head. Time to move on.
Can someone please explain to me HOW and WHY Britney Spears got the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, which is basically the equivalent of a Lifetime Achievement award?  What is she, 30?   I don't think SHE even thought she deserved that award, because her acceptance speech was a one line reminder that yesterday was Michael Jackson's birthday  - then she started gushing about Beyonce.
Then Beyonce asked us to join in the celebration of the "love growing inside" her, sang a song that hinted to how she got pregnant, while setting a world record for most modulations in an award show performance. She capped it all off by rubbing her baby bump. You go, girl. Arne is SO proud.
Russell Brand gave a heartfelt and honest tribute to Amy Winehouse, but lost me when he dropped the "G" word. If ONE hit album is all you need to be called a genius, what do we start calling artists like Paul Simon and Bob Dylan? Stevie Wonder? GOD? Speaking of God, that was really cute that Justin Beiber thanked God AND Jesus, after carrying around the symbol for the DEVIL in the pre-show - a little snake named he named "Johnson." ((roll eyes)) Selena, get used to it - he will be cracking jokes like that his whole life. Wait until he's 69, you'll see what I mean. It's a package deal - you want the package, you have to take the whole thing.
Chris Brown on a high wire was cool - but I don't remember the song. If that was me, the audience would have to be wearing plastic, for two reasons.
Tony Bennett classed up the place in a subtly sparkly jacket, but seriously, Tony - did you have to compare Amy to Billie Holiday & Ella Fitgerald? No artist is satisfied being compared to another. Besides, isn't that the same thing you said about that little blond girl on American Idol? What was her name? Haley? Ugh. When Haley went into the fake raspy growl thing, everyone was comparing her to Janis Jopin. Puhlease.
Bruno Mars - one of my favorites of the night. I'm partial to big horn bands, sure - but that boy can SING. Gives me hope.
Then that Lil' Wayne guy left me scratching my head and feeling REALLY old school. No roll credits. Just an immediate segue into a show with a really stupid title.
That's what you missed.
Fame - you can have it. I would not be caught dead with a box on my head.
The only thing I would change about my life is a slight increase in income so I can fix my house up to be more energy efficient, upgrade my car to run on EV or a WVO and afford to buy health insurance.
 - MM
p.s. If you happen to be near Novato, CA on Thursday, I'll be singing with Livin Like Kings at the Smokehouse.

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