Friday, August 26, 2011

Guest Post : Beth Reynolds Vents re: "The Voice"

Got this hysterically funny email from my friend Beth yesterday.
Hey Mari-
I read your great blog on your experience with The Voice. I was going to post to FB and say basically the same thing- that we had the same chance as a snowball in Hell. I'm thinking that we had to be
(1) under 30;
(2) Have a fatal disease that miraculously disappears right after the FIRST SHOW! WOW!
(3) be a welfare mother with a relative that you're doing the show for, in the hopes that you can raise the money to help her with the medical bills she got when hit by a drunk driver
Should I have proudly told the judge that I was 57?
NO! I SHOULD HAVE LIED, even if I DO look 57!! I should have gotten two Life Lifts and some youth prosthetics, if such a thing exists. And a lot of makeup. And PRAY that the judge is near-sighted and only sees a blur where my face is.
I think you probably rocked the room when you sang. And you probably had one of the best voices that judge heard. But the one guy who got to perform a second, contemporary song by request from the judge of my group- and he was FLAWLESS, and had a gorgeous, effortless tenor voice that Bruno Mars or CeeLo would have given their left nut for- he KILLED on CeeLo's F** You song- only got the advice to keep his phone on until 8 and if he didn't get a call, he wasn't getting THE call back. I think they were definitely looking for a YOUNG WOMAN this time out, since an older guy won the first season.
Anyway- buck up. It may have been an opportunity for some lucky girl, but it wasn't for us. And something WILL be. I think the show is ageist - I gave a pretty damn good audition myself and had eye contact with the judge the whole time- I know he liked my voice. But that little speech about being 57 had him putting a black mark through my name, instantaneously. I imagine that even you, who are much younger, probably got the same reaction. They didn't care how good a performance either of us gave- they wanted the youngster, and told us as much while we were waiting. They wanted the NEW, YOUNG artist. That would not be us, unfortunately. They told us it didn't matter if we had the best voice or gave the best performance.  I'm wearing a costume next time, one with a MASK!
You're already way past the point where you need a show to give you a boost. Something else will come to you as a direct consequence of them hearing you sing live. With a mic.
Take care, and I'll see ya around the cow corral when they announce auditions for the X Factor!! Yeah, I've GOT one of those!! And a Y factor to boot!
PS- Feel free to publish this in your blog if you like!

btw : Beth and her man, Knut Kramer, run Sunnbolt Studios in Novato. They also happen to play together in a band called S'Cream, a Cream tribute band, and they are playing tonight, Friday, August 26th, 2011, at MACK'S Bar and Grill in Penngrove. If you love Cream - check it out!

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